Temporary or Forever

I was once told by a friend of mine that boys are only temporary and friend last forever. I wonder to myself if that is really true or not. I realized recently that what she said was not true, some friends come and go…I know, because this happens to me a lot…but a TRUE friend last forever. I also realized that some boys may only be temporary, but when you meet the one, they will be with you and love you forever. I honestly don’t know why I remember this saying…and I don’t know why it all of a sudden popped into my head, lol. I just realized that I’m very lucky to have the people in my life…and I am very thankful for them.

I’m thankful for my parents for always being there for me, and forgiving me no matter what I have done. You guys raised me and my brother right, and you have instilled in us morals and religious views that I am thankful for. And I’m thankful that you guys are always willing to lend a helping hand when needed.

I’m thankful for my only brother. Though we seldom talk, but when we start to hangout together we have lots of things to talk about. I’m also thankful that you never change, and that you’ve always been the happy, cute & chubby brother haha! I could never of asked for a better brother. Luv ya bro..

I’m also thankful for all of my friends that I have in my life right now. Debra, Jennifer, Adelin, Lovely, Rahima, Nora & Surianah..you guys are amazing!! Debra, I love our talks about our men, and I love how we can relate to each other and help us through some confusing boy moments, lol. I also love the fact that I can talk to you anytime, and always have something to say…whether it be about TV shows, boys, or just random subject on life (mungkin pasal we work together ba tu kan..haha). I love hanging out with you girls..we're such a free spirit bunch of girls kan..and i love that about us. I can't wait to hang out with you girls again.

Last, but not least, I’m thankful for my one and only…Kaynee William. I have so many jokes I could tell you right now…but I’ll refrain myself…mostly, lol. I love you so much, and I could not have asked for a better boyfriend. You're always there for me, and I love that you’re my best friend. I don’t think you realize how much I love you sometimes…but I do, and I can’t help but mention you to everyone I meet, because I’m so happy with you, and you’re such a big part of my life now. I could say some pretty embarrassing and corny things to you that would embarrass you like crazy…but all I’ll say is that I love you more! hehe

Thank you all for being there for me. I love you all so much

Never Knew I Needed

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing, oh yeah

For the ending of my first begin
(Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah)
And for the rare and unexpected friend
(Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah)
For the way you're something that I'd never choose
But at the same time, something I don't wanna lose
And never wanna be without ever again

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you were here I had no idea
You the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear, I need you here always

My accidental happily
(Ever after)
The way you smile and how you comfort me
(With your laughter)
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you were here I had no idea
(When you were here)
You the best thing I never knew I needed
(That I needed)
So now it's so clear, I need you here always
(Now it's so clear)

Who knew that I could be
(Who knew that I could be)
So unexpectedly
(So unexpectedly)
Undeniably happier
Sitting with you right here, right here next to me
Babe, you're the best

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
(Said I needed)
So when you were here I had no idea
(When you were here)
(Said I had no idea)
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
(That I needed)
So now it's so clear I need you here always
(Now it's so clear)
(So clear, so clear, I need you always)

Now it's so clear, I need you here always

* I dedicate this song to my sweetheart. This is exactly how i feel bout him. Never thought i found someone who really appreciate me and love me very much...

DeWyze Rulezz~

Didn't know that he plays piano too..what a talented guy! He deserved to win American Idol. What say you DJ??...i know you love it aight..haha..



Simply amazing..he look sooooo HAWT wit short hair *heart melts instantly*. His eyes...OMG...*faint*...Very talented guy..Love ya LEE!!

Feeling soo "Lovey Dovey".. :)

I have a lot on my mind, everything you already know.. Nothing new.. Just the same old stuff.. But, I feel like you deserve to be told again, how much I truly love you and am so blessed to have you in my life.

I've never been happier in my life, then since I have been with you. You make my days so much better. I am so proud of you for everything that you have accomplished, and for everything that you will accomplish. Being your girlfriend is the most amazing thing. I fully support you in everything that you do, and I'll always be there to be your shoulder to lean on. It's such a crazy feeling to KNOW that you have found the right one. To know that no other man could make me feel the way you do. It's an unbelievable but utterly amazing feeling. And, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wouldn't trade a single argument with you, for a kiss from someone else! Never..hehehe..

I appreciate everything you do...Everything. And, I sincerely hope you know that. You've done nothing but help me through anything and everything, and I am forever in your debt. I like it when you asked me to close my eyes and imagine you kissing my forehead when i get a headache, and it really goes away within 5-10 minutes! It's so crazy but it's real. You're amazing and your love is so perfect.

Every little things makes me fall more and more in love with you. Not a second goes by that you're not in my mind. You mean the world to me. I don't know how i ever made it without you, but i am so glad that i was blessed to have you...

p/s: Thanx DJ.. :) I owe you darling~ muaxxx...

Lucky..

You realize how good life is when the first thing you hear in the morning are those words said with utmost sincerity..and your morning starts to shine as if the world smiles at you. Life really is funny... just when you think everything's going as bad as it can get, you make one turn around the corner and it all changes. And then you begin to understand the reasons you have not been able to comprehend some time ago in your distant past...

Life is good... especially when you are appreciated and respected for the human being that you are. You may pass through points in time when your worth as a person is questioned by the very people dear to you but then it ends. It's true that there is light at the end of a long, sad journey... you just go through that phase, trying to keep your head up and then ultimately you move on. Trust me you do... and when you eventually find that one person who makes you feel priceless... who thinks the world of you...and who equates having you as a lucky stroke...you will know that the hardships you had to encounter before arriving at your destination were all worth it.

Life is a playful thought...a cycle. One day you're happy, the next you're sad. But it just makes the experiences real and important...there will be times when you find a moment to stop and think if you've made the right decisions or if you've let the right person go...and if you realize that you did, you'd have to live forever with the pain of that loss. You remember the incident as painfully as it happened yesterday. But something more painful than making the wrong decision is when life gives you no right to decide at all...when it just presents you with something you can't choose from. You feel the helplessness..the desire to do all you can do to resist but to no avail...

And then someone gets the privilege to choose how your life should go for you despite your wishes. You try to beg and plead to that person for the life you've envisioned and planned for... but it will all be shattered. All thrown away and lost in a glimpse... you break into pieces... the core shattered... no remedy in sight. For a moment, you thought your life has ended~

But just for a moment...because new life starts where one ends. Then everything becomes so new. Every experience, every thought, every dream is slowly being born...again! Then hope flourishes, like the bud that starts to blossom in spring after a cold, hard winter. The "beautiful but short lived" life you once knew ended to be replaced by a more real and more promising life with a new hand to hold and share the experiences and new plans and dreams to work for and fulfill...and this time around, you make sure that the dreams will become a reality in the end...

Life is hard to define...but when you define your life through the eyes of the person you share it with, you will behold the beauty and majesty of what you have.

Thus, i am so lucky to have you..

050610

Divine a.k.a Diva..

Tc a.k.a Ina Abu..

fav word: Ina Anitttt..

Hazel & me..

lucky baby..look where he place his hand and leg..

I love him...but i'm not in love

For what feels like an eternity i've been trying to figure out what the difference is between loving someone (not your family or friends but your boyfriend or partner) and being in love with someone. How do you know when you love him/her but your no longer in love with that person? And if your not in love does that mean that you should just be friends?

This is something i've been struggling with for some time. See the thing is that when you love someone its more or less the same as being in love with that person. If you speak to them they make you smile, if you see them they give you butterflies when they get a little closer, if they are going through some bad times, your heart aches for them. So where is the line?

I think the first thing that i have learned is that you can fall in and out of love as quickly as you can turn a light switch on and off. I think you know when your no longer in love with someone when you have the ability to disconnect with them emotionally. It's like, when your in love, no matter how hard you try or how bad the relationship is you can NOT disconnect emotionally, to the point where you find that your mind is racing 24/7 with thoughts of that person. I think there comes a point when that stops! When you can leave that person in a room or politely excuse yourself from a conversation that is about to get ugly and actually go to sleep without asking yourself 100 questions before you can even start to function like a human being again.

But what does it mean if you can 100% say that you love someone...but your not in love? Does it mean that that person is just a friend? After all isn't that the only difference between friends and "the one" with the former you love them but with the latter your totally in love with them?

After trying to figure this out for the last 8 months, having moments when i hated him, then loved him, then just "didn't give a shit anymore" I realised that my initial reaction was wrong. When I first could admit to myself and truly knew in my heart that i'd fallen out of love, i thought it was a sure sign that the relationship was done, and i was about to break out the friendship bracelet...Now, after nearly a year of torturous confusion and emotional turmoil. Anyways....i've decided that in any long lasting relationship people will fall in and out of love.

People are people and your always going to have 2nd thoughts, but if you still love that person no matter what...isn't that in some ways stronger than being in love? You see if your in love you can fall out of love right? But if you love someone...well you just love them....they become a permanent fixture in your heart....like they become a part of you. So doesn't it make sense that your probably meant to be together when you just have unconditional love for a person?

Saying that takes me back to the whole friend thing. What's the difference between a friend and that person you should spend the rest of your life with? To be honest I'm questioning if there is a difference. How many times have you heard that lil' speech that "you should be friends first"?Implying that....if your not friends, its not going to work out. Eventually the conversation will fall flat on its ass and you'll be left with no connection.

I suppose in reality its all about balance. You need a friendship but you need to have a spark of passion that makes the difference between "were great friends, lets watch a movie" and "were great friends but we ain't gonna see the end of this movie" (if you get what i'm talking about). But hold on..that leads me to another question: Can you just be really good friends with a physical connection and sexual attraction??? Or is that in itself the definition of a boyfriend/girlfriend/wifey etc? Do you have friends that your attracted to and "love" to death, but would never be in a relationship with?

OK.... i give up! hehe I've been doing lots of thinking bout this for the past few weeks. Thoughts please: Maybe someone can straighten this out for me? *wink wink*

Pixie's

Phoebe a.k.a Chingaa..

Wesley a.k.a Baba

sempat pose before movie started

me..hehe..

* Some of the pictures have been deleted from my camera. I suspected my niece, Hazel, messing around with my camera..sigh~...

Holla..I'm Back

I'm back from my short holidays. Went back to kk with my family...to celebrate Harvest Festival and konon attend meeting for all cucu-cucu of James Rajatin (my grandfather) hehe tapi teda yang datang..just a few. Cakap saja mau datang..sigh~

Anyways, was fun in kk. Konon mau shopping..but then i'm stuck at home. I became the babysitter for my cousin, Sandra, 2 little kids..Phoebe and Wesley. But it's ok..i love being around them even though they're killing me at times cos both are sooo manja with me *wink wink*. One thing in my list i managed to fullfil..which is to watch the Shrek 3D Movie at Suria Sabah. I went with my brother, my 2 cousins and my cousin's friend...yes, i was the only gal hehehe and we were like so desperate to watch the movie. Instead of buying the ticket for next day, we sanggup beli ticket jam 12.10am!! hahaha crazy!! The 3D spectacle was fabulous, not the plastic type. No wonder it cost RM150 if you lost it.. *gulp* and speaking from my experience watching 3D movie, i think it's not that quite interesting la then the one i watch in Disneyland, Hong Kong. By the way, I'm talking about the cinema..not the movie hehehe In Disneyland, the cinema is super cool. When inside the movie it's raining, drops of real water really came down from d ceiling. It was like you really inside that movie. Itu baru la!! hehehe

These are the few pictures me with my 2 nieces, Hazel and Phoebe. Taken using my lappy toppy. Obviously we're so bored 'till we play all the functions of the web cam...was fun though, i gotta admit it hehe































































i'll upload pictures from my camera tomorrow. I left my cable in the office..teeeheee~