He Proposed!!

I met a guy...well, not met la hehe..i known him since i was still budak hingusan (that's what he said) lagi. We started to communicate again (thanx to DJJ!) and eventually started dating again.

Last night, like usual he always called me before we go to bed but last night was a bit different. Surprisingly he called me so early but i'm not that surprise la..haha...i'm being exaggerate..LOL!!..so we've talked la about how's our days and all...then all of sudden he proposed to me again!! FOR THE 2ND TIME!! OMG!! It was all very exciting and although he is everything I’ve ever wanted, I’m now getting scared the proposal came too soon. Am I just being paranoid? He is so fantastic. I keep having to pinch myself that this could be happening to me. But then i haven't give him any answer yet. I need to think thoroughly about everything because i really need to know what i want actually. It's not that i don't want to be with him, it's just that i have doubts about my feelings. Sigh~

Next month he will be coming over with his family to meet my family. So probably i will get engage by next year...hmm...i need to do so much things again. I need to settle things with my then fiance (yes! I am still attached with him..fyi..). Also i need to ask myself if i really want this or not. I can't just listen to what my friends and families says..because in the end, it's me who's getting marry. Not them. So gurls, no offence ya...*wink wink*

I guess i need to think carefully and i hope everything's will go smoothly...especially confronting Him about this. God, please guide me with all this..help me to stay strong...sigh~...susah jua kan. The thing is, i still love and care for Him..this is what makes me can't decide..but i can't just keep quiet right..i need to confront him and tell him all my feelings. If he still ignore me, than that's it la. I'm moving on and maybe move to wherever my boyfriend is. So gurls, please pray for me and support me..hehehe...

That's it for now. Mau pegi police station dulu to pay my summon..LOL!! Nanti tutup lagi..hehehe..will update again soon.. *wink wink*

Toodles~

Apa Saja~

OK!! After reading DJJ's blog..i find it kinda interesting juga this quiz. Memandangkan i'm free for now, so why not just give it a try. Hopefully my answer is not as crazy as yours la kan DJJ. LOL!!

The Rules:

Put your music library on shuffle. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough. Ok, go! When you're done, tag 20 people in this note, and make sure to tag the person who sent you this. The answer to #20 is the Title of your note.

1.If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say..
Only You (Take Me Away) - Nina sky feat Kidz In The Hall
(erk....hmm...)

2. How would you describe yourself?
Numb - Linkin Park
(YES!! i could be ignorant sometimes..hehe)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

Freaky Dance - Trey Songz feat T.I & Swizz Beatz
(Ketara la suka yg kaki clubbing kan..hahaha..)

4. How do you feel today?
Falling Slowly - Lee DeWyze & Crystal Bowersox
(Yeah~...cos papa kedana suda kan..hehe)

5. What is your life’s purpose?
Before The Lobotomy - Green Day
(definition: surgical interruption of nerve tracts to and from the frontal lobe of the brain; often results in marked cognitive and personality changes" hehe sempat lagi buka dictionary)

6. What's your motto?
Situasi - Bunkface
(aik..i don't even know i have this song in my playlist..lol!!)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Tetaplah Di Hatiku - Bunga Citra Lestari & Christian Bautista
(yess DJJ, i know you gonna say i'm "cinta agung" kan once you saw this answer..aaahhhhh~)

8. What do you think of your parents?
Boom Shaka Laka - Flo Rida
(ARGH! BULIH2! hahaha)

9. What do you think about very often?
Ridin' Solo - Jason Derulo
(hahaha!)

10. What is 2 + 2?
Peacock - Katy Perry

(LOL!!!!)

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?
Deja Vu - 3OH!3
(erk....)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Crazy Ride - Michelle Branch
(Aduhhh~~...ada ka crazy ride..apakah?? hahaha)

13. What is your life story?
On This Day - David Pomeranz
(lagu kahwin la pula! LOL! yeah..lately been thinking bout wanna get marry jak..kikiki)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Run This Town - Jay-Z feat Kanye West & Rihanna
(wahahaha...mcm so ganas ni wanna run this town~)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Funk Phenomena - Starkillers vs DJ Jahbert
(hahaha!!)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Right Thru Me - Nicki Minaj
(you see right thru me~~~~ haha)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
Again - Bruno Mars
(Macam banyak kali saja saya mati!)

18. What is your biggest fear?
Wind Beneath My Face - Akon
(hahahahaha)

19. What is your biggest secret?
Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch

(oooppssss....kedapatan suda..lol!)

20. What will you post this as?
Apa Saja - KRU
(aahhhhhhh~.....ada kah lagu KRU..hahahaha)

Part 2

First time listen to this song..memang i can really feel every word. It reminds me of Him and me before and it hurts like hell knowing that this song is able to describe its words but its awesome at the same time...weird huh..

Eminem feat Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie (Part II)

On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take death to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.

Now this gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight.
In this tug of war, you’ll always win, even when I’m right.
Cause you feed me fables from your hand,
With violent words and empty threats and it’s sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.

So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave.
Til the walls are goin’ up in smoke with all our memories.

[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
that we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
but together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counselin’
this house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
with you I’m in my f–kin’ mind, without you, I’m out it

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.I love the way you lie.

Anniversary~

Can't believe it's almost been 1 year..how time passed so fast..and i realize that i miss him very much. Every now and then i keep thinking about him and the relationship..what does it feels actually if we really did make it to the altar. Being said this makes me become so emotional *sob sob*... 21st November is the date we picked for our Wedding Day but...sob sob~

I wonder..maybe it's a test from God for we have been so long together...or maybe it was meant to be this way..i just don't know..all i know is that i just can't stop thinking about him or should i say, i just can't stop loving him. I just don't know how he could act so fine and calm..or maybe he's just acting tough in front of me.. :(..i'm a bit lost in my relationship..well, not a relationship anymore but i still love him and it's getting on my nerves sometimes *sob sob*

How bad he treated me before i just can't hate him so much. I still want to be there for him..it's like i've been compelled by him..sigh~..just like DJJ said the other day, "i think between KW and him, you will choose him. Whatever bad he did or does to you, you will always choose him"...which i think it's true. I don't know why. Although i have someone who treats me more better than he does, i still can't completely let go my love for him. I guess i have given him all of my love and now it's still with him which he doesn't even take good care of it *sob sob*..sometimes i feel so bad and guilty to my bf..even when i'm with bf, i can think about him. I know it's a bad thing to do but i just can't help it at times. Is it normal like this? God, just please help me~

There's so much things in my mind right now that i cannot even take it out from my chest. When night time comes, i will get so emotional and i started to cry. I miss being next to him, chat chatting 'till we fall asleep..if only i could have one day..just one day being next to him, that would be great.. :(..

You asked me to be happy, look forward not the past...how could you say that when you yourself still talks about your past and about me to other people? I know this from someone. Guess both of us are the same..we're too bond with each other that we cannot actually live without each other...but only you always trying to deny it or maybe you don't realize that. I don't think i could ever let you go completely..but then again..this is just now. I don't know 'till when this gonna last. I may have a great bf (or should i say perfect bf) but then i don't want that. All i really want is you..or maybe that's just my feelings..sigh~

That's all for now lah..can't write anymore. Tears keep falling down my cheek kalau i keep on writing. Just wanna wish you Happy 1st Anniversary (eventhough tidak kesampaian)..*sob sob*..

Vampire Diaries

Gosh!! I'm so addicted with Vampire Diaries now. Thanx to Tayree William! Now i'm so addicted to it!! Sigh~... :) It is more interesting than Twilight or that HBO vampire series thingy...forgot what's the name..lol! Basically Vampire Diaries series follows the life of Elena Gilbert who falls in love with a century-old vampire Stefan Salvatore, and soon finds herself caught in a love triangle between Stefan and his super HAWT good looking brother, Damon Salvatore (when i say HAWT, seriously he is really DAMN HAWT..hehe). Both brothers began to show affection towards Elena, mainly because of her resemblance to their past love, Katherine Pierce. Interesting right...jeng jeng jeng... hehehe

Damon Salvatore

I've just finish watched the 1st season and i really can't wait to watch 2nd season. The whole season is not boring at all and all you have is curiosity what's gonna happen next. To me, i just wish Elena choose Damon instead of Stefan bcos Stefan is so fugly! lol!! jahat oo kan...Damon is super gorgeous (droollll~)...his eyes...ohh his eyes..memang really boleh compel orang owh..seriously!! But then..that's how drama is..the pretty one always ends up with the ugly person...sigh~

Well guys, this drama is worth to watch. Really interesting, more actions than talking. Really good to watch lah..and i'm sure you're never gonna get enough of it once you start watching..i can guarantee that..lol!!