Get It Right

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Kedapatan~

Last Saturday after came back from sunset Mass, the road back home was heavily jam. So i was on the right lane when suddenly i saw his car on the left lane. And surprisingly i saw him with his gf in the car and when he realized that i was beside him, he looks really tensed..LOL!! tidak kah kedapatan tu?! So much for "you think easy ka girl to be my gf"...what a jerk! Fuh!! luckily i didn't layan sangat his muka kesian for keep asking me to go to his apartment. He's been asking it since Tuesday..and Saturday morning he called me around 9 something just to asked me to stop by his house for a while just to kasi hilang his sangap. What does he think i am??? A whore? Why don't call his gf and ask from her?????!!!!

I forget to mention this in my previous post..during our video call, he keeps showing me all dis porn video. and most horrifying thing he did was showing me his d**k. WTF!!!!

If i was a bad person, I've already upload his video in youtube and tell the whole world how stupid and a jerk he is. And not forgetting showing it to his whole family..baru dorang tau who is being such a BITCH!! And not only that, but all his messages he wrote to me. All porn messages. Arrgghhhh!! Just feel like wanna bring him down just like how he, his family and his stupid gf bring me down. Then he knows how does it feels..

But i don't know why i can't do it..sigh~...i just leave it to God to do all the vengeance for me..

Through all this thing going on around me, i feel like i'm getting stronger and braver to say "no" to him. Not only that..i just realize that i don't have any feelings towards him anymore (well maybe a little) but it doesn't effect my life anymore.

Thank you God for listening and granting my prayer~

!@#$%^&*

As usual i always online at night and he usually online too but never buzz or message me. It's not like i want him or expect him to do that. After a while i get used to it already and i don't even give a damn at all whether he's online or not....but this past few days, he keeps on messaging me just when i just sign in my YM (Yahoo Messenger) and started telling me he misses me and all that. I got confuse...i mean he got a gf, so why the hell bother's me again after i tried so hard to let him go.

He keeps on asking me to meet up and hangout. When i asked him what happen to his gf, he sarcastically answered "i told you it's not easy to be my gf"...it means that he never have a gf after me...and that's BULLSHIT la. Remembering his stupid PTI gf called me and threatened me not to disturb him (which i never did) and that stupid BITCH whom i thinks envy me so much 'till desperately tell d whole world i'm married and have kids - that all keep playing in my mind that he's really a JERK! I know when i start to meet him again, i'm trap in his web of lies. He will use me for comfort, sex, u name it...

The other night he wanted to video call and he keep on requesting for it..so ok la..kasi muka sama dia la sikit. So we video call 'till almost 3am. He acts like nothing ever happen and called me bie (used to called me when we're still together). I don't know actually what he's trying to do. Is he sincere or just fooling around. He showed me the things that i gave him before and told me that he's not gonna throw it away. I'm just confuse what he's trying to do. I think he do la but then he don't wanna show it in front of other people. And i think he obeys his mum request to not be with me anymore. So i think that is why the only way for him to talk to me is through YM or meet at his apartment.

Sigh~...this is life. Life never wants me to be happy i guess. It always confuses me~

blablabla

I Hate Being Sick

So I was feeling a little less than healthy yesterday, but I chalked that up to having gone out Sunday. My appetite wasn't that great, my throat was kinda icky, and I had a headache...Well, I woke up this morning and couldn't face going in to work today but i came to work also lah..hehehe...I'm headachy, coughing, sinus-pressurey, and have a wicked sore throat. I'm miserable.

Yes, i'm whiny...sigh~

I hope I feel better tomorrow because everything goes to hell in here if i don't do my work, but I guess we'll see...~

And oh ya..today is my childhood/bestest friend in the world's birthday. Happy birthday darling Debra Jill Jolonius a.k.a DJJ..hahaha your still pretty + hot + fabulosity + sexy..hehehe..betul ni.. :)..Have a great one ya darlz!! Once again..happy birthday to you babe!! xoxo..

Shattered

Trading Yesterday - Shattered

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding

Fall into your sunlight
The future's open wide beyond believing
To know why hope dies
Losing what was found, a world so hollow
Suspended in a compromise
The silence of this sound is soon to follow
Somehow sundown

And finding answers
Is forgetting all of the questions we call home
Passing the graves of the unknown

As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading
Illusions of the sunlight
And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting
Love gone for so long

This day's ending is the proof of time killing all the faith I know
Knowing that faith is all I hold

And Ive lost who I am
And I can't understand
Why my heart is so broken
Rejecting your love
Without love gone wrong
Life
Less words
Carry on

But i know
All i know
Is that the ends beginning

Who I am from the start
Take me home to my heart
Let me go
And I will run
I will not be silenced

All this time spent in vain
Wasted years
Wasted gain
All is lost
Hope remains
And this war's not over

Theres a light
Theres the sun
Taking all the shattered ones
To the place we belong
And his love will conquer

And Ive lost who I am
And I can't understand
Why my heart is so broken
Rejecting your love
Without love gone wrong
Life
Less words
Carry on

But i know
All i know
Is that the ends beginning

Who I am from the start
Take me home to my heart
Let me go
And I will run
I will not be silenced

All this time spent in vain
Wasted years
Wasted gain
All is lost
Hope remains
And this war's not over

Theres a light
Theres the sun
Taking all the shattered ones
To the place we belong
And his love will conquer all
Yes his love will conquer all

Yesterday I died, tommorrows bleeding
Fall into your sunlight

**I love this song and the lyrics. For me, this is a song about hope in love - it's about being broken and hurt, so much that you can't take the idea of accepting love again, which is a lonely, miserable place to be in. You don't want to accept love from anyone because love is what will hurt you. But then, there's a revelation. You find a love that you want to accept. It's going to hurt, allowing it into your heart, but it gives you hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, if you will. It's a painful process to accept it, but in the end, it's a healing process and it's what will repair your shattered heart. This song is about that realization and taking the 1st step into accepting love, and seeing the journey ahead and being willing to take it for love's sake.

To me, yes, that love means God's love, which will conquer and will heal all the shattered ones out there..

Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song

Loveeeeeeee this songggg!! cute video clip....i loikeee!!!